Whoa Z and x make the same sound
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
