I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
Randomize
