when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Randomize
