Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
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