The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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