Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
whose ass print is on the piano?
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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