Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
