Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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