That's intense
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
