i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
