What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
