no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
