does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
May the power of my ass compel you!!
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
