That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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