Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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