They have a pepper shaker for pot.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
