Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
false alarm, still single
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