the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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