my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
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