yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Randomize
