he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
