FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
