PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
