Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
