hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
