If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
