I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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