Well apparently he's into motor boating.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
