physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
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