oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
