I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Randomize
