Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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