btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
this will be a night to untag.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
