I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
