are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
