FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
