I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
