I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
he just fucked me for my cheese..
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