Taylor Swift is so right about you.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
How does one acquire holy water?
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
