D3 body, D1 cock
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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