he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
