YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
