your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
