Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
