My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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