i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
