it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Randomize
