I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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