My room smells like vodka and shame
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Randomize
