we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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