Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
